music fines

ALL OF US
Playing loudly during warm up $10
Sound-checking amp with Funk slapping $25
Loud cursing after mistake $10
Playing high and fast after mistake $20
Practicing 2-handed tapping between tunes $20
Asking for "E" tuning note $25
Playing "E" anyway when horns tune to Bb $50
Playing written-out walking line $50
Failure to play written walking line $75
Writing note names over ledger-line notes $50
Writing beat numbers under dotted figures $50
Playing eighth notes $5 each
Playing sixteenth notes $10 each
Playing above 1st octave immediate dismissal
Dragging fast tempo $75
Dragging ballad tempo $100
Blacking out during ballad $200
Ignoring drummer's tempo $100
Following drummer's tempo $250
Asking to borrow Real Book for All Of Me $1000

BASIC BUSINESS STUPIDITY
Showing up just before first downbeat $25
Faking changes $25
Slapping $150
Missing tutti lick, then mentioning vintage of bass $25
Excessive sweating $25
Pedal point double-stops during horn solo $50
Asking leader for a solo $30
Accepting solo when offered $50
Taking second chorus $100
Pretending to check tuning after playing out of tune $100
Playing "A Train" ending on every tune $200
Playing extended "A Train" ending on every tune $500
Checking hair between tunes $15
Experimenting with odd meters $25
Missing downbeat root at end of blistering fill $25

EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS
Forgetting strap $10
Changing strings after every set $15
Setting up mic "just in case" $75
Forgetting to turn amp on $40
Bringing amp larger than 1 person can carry in 1 trip $50
Asking horn player for help moving amp $25
Skull decals on instrument $150

CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
Telling bone player about all the gigs you get $10
Asking bone player about their day gig $10
Sitting behind drums on break $10
Quoting "Birdland" $25
Practicing scales during break $25
Practicing scales during drum solo $50
Practicing $150
Beginning a sentence with "When I was a guitar player..." $50
Casually mentioning to Musical Director that you are "into sequencing" $100

Singer / Vocalist Infractions
Doesn't know keys to songs, $10
Doesn't know when to come in, $15
Leaves stage when not singing lead vocal, $20
Late for gig, $30
Walks off stage to use cellphone on gig, $15
Won't use cellphone as prop during gig, $30
Modulates without informing band, $20
Points mic towards monitor causing feedback during song, $75
Doesn't have set list, $10
Doesn't have keys on set list, $15
Doesn't have original songs charted, $20
Takes up to over one hour getting EQ setting on monitors, still not happy, $75
Gets off key singing acapella, $25
Argues with band members onstage, $150
Drops mic, $10
Stands onstage but doesn't sing harmonies, $30
Plays tambourine out of time, $50
Gripes at band onstage, $20
Gripes at band onstage over mic, $75
Stops song halfway through and starts over, $25
Continues singing in old key after song modulates, $30
Holds words to song while singing onstage, $20
Telling bad joke and then laughing hysterically about it over mic, $500
Dumps management, band etc. after making the big time, $10,000 :)

Find a mentor / e-book / academia Alaska. Always good to have a mentor when learning about things new to us. And with music and its magics, nice to have a friend or two ask questions and collaborate with. Seek and ye shall find. Local high schools, libraries, friends and family, musicians in your home town ... just ask around, someone will know someone who knows someone about music and can help you with your studies in the musical arts.

go to a public library and ask the librarian

? ? ? ? ?

Always keep in mind that all along life's journey there will be folks to help us and also folks we can help ... for we are not in this endeavor alone :) The now ancient natural truth is that we each are responsible for our own education. Positive answer this always 'to live by' question; 'who is responsible for your education ... ?

Y O U :)

Intensive tutoring. Luckily for musical artists like us, the learning dip of the 'covid years' can vanish quickly with intensive tutoring. For all disciplines; including all the sciences and the 'hands on' trade schools, that with tutoring, learning blossoms to 'catch us up.' In music ? The 'theory' of making musical art is built with just the 12 unique pitches, so easy to master with mentorship. And in 'practice ?' Luckily old school, the foundation that 'all responsibility for self betterment is ours alone.' Which in music, and same for all the arts, means to do what we really love to do ... to make music :)

"These books, and your capacity to understand them, are just the same in all places. Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed, is more important than any other one thing."

wiki ~ Abraham Lincoln

Academia references of Alaska. And when you need university level answers to your questions and musings, and especially if you are considering a career in music and looking to continue your formal studies, begin to e-reach out to the Alaska University Music Campus communities and begin a dialogue with some of Alaska's finest resident maestros !

University of Alaska

University of Alaska Anchorage Music

University of Alaska Fairbanks Music Education

'I was obliged to be industrious. Whoever is equally industrious will succeed equally well.'

J. S. Bach 1685-1750

'Invest yourself in everything you do. There's fun in being serious.'

John Coltrane 1926-1967